Being a hero can be great
But it also is a mess
You got lots of jobs
That don't pay well
And your health care could care less
and it's hard to hold a schedule
with those damsles in distress

Now I didn't say I want a castle
and I don't want to be served
I just want a nice job
I just want my girl
and the "me" time I deserve
But then her mother came
With a dragon by the curve

She said we need to talk
I know you're
Having a hard time
But you sit all day
doing nothing
you worthless piece of slime
There's just one thing that I want from you
Just one thing I require
Make a baby for my baby
Or this dragon here will set you on fire

The words she threw
Had all the windfury
of a shaman with dual wield
When I'm sitting down
For a conversation
I don't expect to need a shield
Alone caught unaware
I felt my fate was sealed

So I popped my cooldowns
I drank a potion
and then I cried before her eyes
I went totally emo
It touched on her ego
The Mom was quite surprised
She said "so after all you're human"
but now I realize

We should never have talked
You had no right to say those
things to me
You tried to besmirch
my honour... here, have some
sympathy
I apologize but I shan't provide
That one thing that you require
So go buy yourself a Brand New Baby(tm)
I don't care if you set me on fire